When I made the decision to share my story of mental illness and mention Nancy Lanza in the same interview I knew it would generate some discussion. Some positive, some negative. My voice was heard. For that, I thank you. I wanted to speak as a mother, and also because Nancy Lanza is no longer here to speak for herself.
Nancy Lanza was not a victim. She was a women struggling alone trying to survive in a world where the mental health system is in need of a complete overhaul. A system that is fractured and desperately in need of repair. We can appoint committees but does one ever see a parent appointed on one of these committees? I know, I tried recently. I wanted to be part of change in the system. I wanted to put a face to the Nancy Lanza's in the world.
We do not know what life was like daily for her and her son. Some of us do, but thankfully most of you don't. Do some question if Nancy Lanza struggled because of how much money she had? Yes. I can tell you that money cannot make a mentally ill loved one healthy. I am sure if money could have bought her son his health, he would have been well. We would not be having this discussion.
Nancy Lanza may not have worked outside of her home, but I can tell you, she worked and she worked hard. She cared for her son the best way that she could. We as mothers and or fathers work every minute of everyday when we have to provide care for a loved one who struggles with this devastating illness.
When you are caring for a loved one especially one who is suffering with untreated mental illness, you enjoy every moment that you can. She was able to share the one interest both her and her sons enjoyed. Unfortunately, it cost her and many others their lives.
Was Adam Lanza "unstable?" He certainly was Dec 14. Did Nancy Lanza think she along with many others including her son were going to die that day? I think not. As a mother the last thing you ever want to believe is that your child, your loved one is capable of committing such a horrific act.
Yes, there has to be changes made in the treatment of people with mental illness. The stigma that accompanies this illness is terrible both for the suffer and their families. Struggling to have access to services is a nightmare. As a mother of a mentally ill loved one the same age of Adam Lanza, I feel the need to be a voice for the Nancy Lanza's in the world. Help us, please! Don't condemn us.
Are we angry? Are we mad? You bet we are. But direct those words to those that can help make a change. You can be part of the change. A long overdue change. Contact the Governor, contact ANYONE that will listen to you and express the inadequacies that exist in the mental health system.Speak up. It's your right to be heard.
We will all be victims unless we direct our voices to those that need to hear us.
Marie Romano
Orange